Vegan Mosquito

I’ve recently joined a new religion
A peaceful, considerate bunch
You often see them with hula hoops
Improvising after lunch

They drive around in Kombi vans
In rainbow coloured clothes
Devoutly preparing vegetables
To cook on pot belly stoves

They like to dance and sing their songs
While on guitars they strum
And watch YouTube tutorials
On playing the djembe drum

Their thinking is quite liberal
With sex and drugs a plenty
But if they know you’ve squashed a fly
The dialogue gets rather messy

How dare you kill a defenceless creature
That did no harm to you
You’ve got no right to control their fate
You should have just said “shoo”

And then the debate begins full throttle
About the sacredness of life
Where one species cannot dominate another
Condolences to the fly’s wife

The kilo of honey I recently bought
Will have to be returned
I’m going to place it back in the hive
Of the bees so rudely disturbed

Bees should be free and not locked up
I respect their needs and wants
But I’ll only give them flowers
In lieu of honey for croissants

The way I treat mosquitoes
I must now reconsider
No longer will I spray them dead
But instead invite them to dinner

But what is good for the goose
Has to be good for the gander
I’ll only accept them if they’re vegan
So they don’t suck me dry to a cadaver