Love Bite Blues

Woke up this morning with a pain in my neck
Her kiss last night was a major train wreck
Her leathery touch caused my nose to bleed
I should have smoked more of that purple weed
I wanted our date to be out of this world
But she just left my toes, totally uncurled

I made her a coffee as a gentleman should
But she wanted more of my skinny manhood
She threw me on my back and broke my spine
Vibrating her hips like the bunny alkaline
She covered my face with a shower of dribble
And then bit my neck like it was pumpernickel

She left me the bruise of a love tattoo
While grunting and snorting like an old kazoo
A doughnut shaped welt on the side of my neck
I thought she only gave me a sweet little peck
Instead she carved her mark for all to see
A blister encrusted piece of skin filigree

The moral of this story is quite sublime
The next time you search for a valentine
Don’t do it after drinking too much alcohol
Resulting in the ordering of a silicone doll
The delivery driver said she lost the package
Offering instead some of her emotional baggage

She left me the bruise of a love tattoo
While grunting and snorting like an old kazoo
The artwork design will never be famous
Resembling the shape of the perfect anus
What ended up looking like grilled burnt toast
Was just a receipt from Australia Post

CODA
A note delivered to an amicable host
A signature of sorts more unusual than most
A gift to bear from Australia Post